In the making...

      Well, a lot has been going on this past week, nothing really noteworthy, but there is something from this week that has come about that I am beyond stoked about. It is the Hope Youth Group HOMELESS project that I have the great pleasure of heading up!!
      I will kick off the announcement about our project Next Monday in Hope for the Week, but I am too excited not to write about it now. We are headed off to Monroe Park on November 20th to feed and clothe the homeless of downtown Richmond. I have decided on Chicken Noodle soup, Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and coffee...I know not the BEST mix of foods, BUT I think we need to start off with a variety and see what works best. And plus since it is the first time doing this we need to see how people will react.        
      I am stoked on feeding the men and women of Richmond, but more stoked on clothing them for the winter. I am going to ask all of Hope to go through their old winter clothes and donate them to our project instead of directly to Goodwill. We will be handing out clothes and blankets to keep the men and women warm during the harsh winter so they have a better chance of survival. And with all of the left over clothes we may have, we will donate to a shelter or another amazing cause.
     Something else that gets me so pumped about this project is the Youth involvement. We have a few girls who are going to capture the day with their awesome photography skills and we are putting everyones strong points up to good use. And the fact that Hope will be marching out of the Suburbs to be a part of this project is even more exciting.
     I am hoping and praying that God will use this experience to open up our hearts and minds to GRACE. SOOO many people think that helping the homeless is hopeless because they will only use us or take our money and use it on drugs and alcohol,  and they may be right. But grace is about giving UNDESERVING love and compassion, and that is what I hope to accomplish with this project.
    So please help us to make this project the best it can be. If you want more information on how to help or be a part of this comment on this blog and I will get back to you!!!

Pockets of Grace.

    Have you ever had a really bad day and felt really awful about yourself and then someone comes up to you and compliments you.  Or you were really hungry and someone offered you half of their lunch without knowing.  Or someone offered you a piece of gum and didn't know your breath was stinky? Don't those little "pockets of grace" make the WORLD of a difference?

    I have read stories about teenagers who were going to commit suicide on a particular day because they felt worthless and felt like they did not amount to anything. But on that particular day, someone complimented them or asked them to hang out for the first time, and they choose NOT to take their own life. It was all about the pocket of grace, the particular person gave them that day that saved their life.

    I often think about teenage girls who end up pregnant our of wedlock. These girls are scared out of their minds. Wondering what their family and friends, CHURCH, and outsiders will think of them. SO scared to the point of contemplating abortion.  I really feel that if we were to extend grace and love to these girls ( and guys who are involved ) and realize that they made a mistake, but also, realize that YOU make equal too or worse mistakes, that these girls would keep the baby or put it up for adoption. It is all about giving grace and love to people in all kinds of situations.

    The cool thing about grace is that we do not deserve it, but it is given to us anyways. Take a relationship with the Lord for example. NONE of us deserve it, and yet we get it, time and time again. Its a selfLESS love which its worth cannot be measured.

    Remember how you feel when someone give you undeserving grace, and give someone that grace today. You never know what that person is going through.

( IF YOU ARE UNEMPLOYED AND NEED AN OUTFIT CLEAN FOR AN INTERVIEW WE WILL CLEAN IT FOR FREE)

i'm fine.

This is something to think about...

“The average person tells 4 lies a day, and 1460 a year. A total of 88,000 by the age of 6. And the most common lie is I’m fine.”

Why can't we all be honest with each other and realize that it is totally fine to not be fine??

( p.s. I just really loved this quote, I really AM fine hahah )

To go to class, or not to go to class? THAT is MY question.

     I am about to share with you one of the most common internal battles I have, where do my priorities lie when it comes to school.  First of all, I know that school is a necessary evil. It is something that I have to do, in order to succeed in my generation, but it does not mean that I have to like it, because I don't. I never have. So this creates a lot of turmoil within myself. Case in point this morning. It was raining, I woke up, felt tired, so I went back to sleep and skipped my first class. In my mind, me getting sleep and being well rested ranks higher than my social work class. Good or bad, that is just the way it is. And for 4.5 years that has been my struggle, to go, or not to go to class.

    I find myself in this little pickle quite frequently.  It tends to get worse as the weather gets warmer. The beach with friends is much more appealing than sitting in a class I could care less about. So I tend to lean towards the beach 9 out of 10 times. And when someone wants to catch up and can only do it during my 11 o'clock class, 10 out of 10 times ( unless I have a test ) I will go. I believe that enriching relationships is much more important and valuable than going to class to sit there confused and surf the internet. And that may seem like a cop out answer but it really is the truth. I can think of 100's of more important things I could be doing. 

    I just wanted to let you know that this really is an issue for me. It gets harder too when you throw in the fact that I have never excelled at school. I have never been able to test well, and I write how I talk, so papers are a struggle and reading "scholarly material" is like pulling my own teeth. But as the saying goes " 2.0 and GO" or "2.5 and stay alive"... so, I need to do a little soul searching and get on the ball.

   Here is the other kicker. I TRULY believe with my whole heart that college is a waste of time. My senior seminar professor even told us that it is pointless unless you want to get a masters in something specific, which I don't, so I struggle daily to get to class and do my work. And it kills me that I know that I have to get through this next year, and it killed me even MORE when I found out I can't graduate this December, because BELIEVE ME... I was already checking out, and now I have to check back in for a little while longer.

    All of this to say : If you are struggling in this area as well, Lets hold on together. Because when all of this is over, I am sure we will be happy that we suck with it. But remember it doesn't mean that you have to like it, we just gotta do it friend.

I hear you boys... 

Small group...

Just a peek into what went down tonight. We had more of a creative small group with painting, journaling, and "warm fuzzies"... Here are some pics!!

Sometimes we all just need a break from the norm to have a little more fun and use our imagination. And these girls sure did!! I love you all!!

CAUTION: confused woman straight ahead.

    How many times can you see the light at the end of the tunnel shining through, but cannot yet feel the warmth that the light will eventually generate?? If you are like me, you are STUCK IN BETWEEN seeing and feeling the light, a lot in life.

    I tend to by pass present day life, and want to have my life a year or 2 down the road. I want to graduate, get married, have a job, start a family, be on my own, have MY OWN ministry, and live a grown up "adult life", all while, not having stress, being secure, having fun and being 100% happy all of the time. Reality?? I Think not.

     I think a lot of the time, I am looking too far ahead of myself, and I am not taking the time to notice and enjoy the present.  We need to strive for the future and live in the present, and this is a current struggle of mine. There are so many things that I want to do, but because I am stuck in a transition period of life, I am stuck in limbo, waiting, learning lessons in patience and reliance, and it gets frustrating.

    How about you? Are you stuck in between the life you are currently living, and the one you keep looking ahead too??

So, how many times do I have to fall???

     SO, Lately I have been seeing just how much I try and rely on myself and not on God. It's like I am way to confident in myself in the areas of life where I need the most help ( what direction do I go in? To do or not to do? ) and yet so insecure and totally NOT confident in the easy areas of life ( being okay with WHO God made me to be, looks, intelligence...). I wonder why that is. Sometimes I wonder if I make my life harder on purpose. Do I just need adventure and a sense of the unknown so bad that I play the parts I should not play and abandon the ones I am the leading roll?

     I sometimes find myself in this thought process of " I don't need your help God, this is an easy decision", and then I FAIL. Why is it that in the 22 years of life that I have already been given, I have not learned to LEAN on God for EVERYTHING? I know I am stubborn, but THIS stubborn?? Man.

    In biblical times people would travel so far, risk everything, for the chance to see Jesus, to touch him and to have him HEAL them. This came in a time where Jesus wasn't exactly the coolest kid on the block, and yet they risked everything for a chance to RELY FULLY on HIM. And then there is ME, I live in a time where Jesus has ALREADY died for ME, all I have to do is give up everything to Him with the previous KNOWLEDGE that He can, and already has saved my life, and yet most of the time I don't. WHY?? Who knows.

    All I know is that I need to get myself in line here. I find myself going to God whenever I "need" Him, or scratch that, whenever I THINK I need Him. Truth is I need him 24/7, and even more than that, but I choose when I think I need him. When things get tough and a too hard to bare for myself, THAT is when I start a "convenient" relationship with God, that goes something like this: " God I am so sorry that I screwed up again, but I am only human ya know? Can you please forgive me and help me to change my life, Thanks!!". And then of course I screw up again. But then comes those moments where God has allowed me to fall flat on my face, to get terrified, and then I FALL TO MY KNEES and start realizing that I NEED Him. It just blows my mind, how I can let something get so far before it clicks.

    Why do we let things get to a point where we start to feel guilt, shame, or anger? God has given us the chance to live a life that is pleasing to Him. He has given us a whole book with answers and yet we chose not to read it. This is not just another school text book that I had to buy and chose not to read ( because truthfully if I do not read it and fail a class, its not the end of the world ) but if I keep choosing not to pick up the book that contains the WORDS OF GOD, putting it bluntly, I'm an Idiot.