what if..

   DO you ever wonder IF you changed any one thing in your life, how it would effect everything else?? I do... all of the time. Right now my current dilemma is what if I was in bed right now, instead of in a classroom at VCU feeling awful! I have a crampy body, congestion, headache, I feel nauseous..and yet I am trying to brave out classes. What I was in my warm bed with hot tea and a piece of bread with honey on it. Would life be better? My answer for this one is YES, that is why I'm leaving VCU after this class because the choice I made this morning to come here was a little too ambitious for me. But what about the serious stuff??

    What if I avoided all of the mess and troubles I have had with VCU in the first place. What if I went to Longwood, JMU, RMC, CNU...anywhere but here. I would have avoided extra money spent on a year of school over, headaches from advising appointments and scheduling issues, I would have gotten more "real life experiences" by living away from home, and the list goes on and on. BUT what I would have MISSED out on is...

-Making my faith MY OWN
-Being with my family through a lot of thick and thin situations
-Falling in love with my best friend, and having an amazing relationship with him that I would not trade -for anything in the world
-Finding a second family in Nicole Unice's Family
-Meeting and walking life with a BUNCH of high school girls
-Enriching my relationship with Courtney, Leslie and Emily
......And TONS more.

I could say I wish I never went to this school, but now that would be a bold faced lie. The little bumps that VCU has given me to go over, have made me who I am today, they have strengthened my faith, given me more chances to practice being bold, and they have allowed all of the above to happen.

...SO you won't ever hear me say this again, but Thank you God for allowing me to attend VCU, because going here is making me a stronger person and has allowed me the chance to have life long relationships with people that had been around me all along, but that I was too stubborn to notice.

Andrew and I

Me, my best friends and my brother

Me and my family

Wrestling with God- Anyone want to tag me out?

     Anyone who knows me, knows that I tend to be a bit impatient. I'm patient with kids, with love, with family, and friends.. BUT when it comes to patience with God, my rope is short and my patience is thin. I find myself wrestling with God on a daily basis, and it is EXHAUSTING.

    My most recent "match" with God has involved VCU. To be blunt, VCU has been taunting me and dangling my graduation over my head. Making me jump through hoops and do tricks, like a dog, but neglecting me my treat after a job well done. INFACT, VCU is like that dog owner who ties a treat on a string, tapes it to the end of the treadmill, sets the treadmill on HIGH and takes their dog "for a walk" on the treadmill by TAUNTING them with the UNATTAINABLE treat.

   Allow me to briefly explain.     I went into VCU expecting to do the 5 year Masters program in TEACHING. However, a few mandatory classes turned into electives and I found myself on the 7 year plan, so I went to an advisor and asked " what do I have to do to get out the fastest" and he said RELIGIOUS STUDIES, so this is how I am where I am today. A religious studies major, with no clue what I will do with my degree, and no clue when I will actually get outta here. You see, I went to an advising appointment ( which took 1.5 weeks to get ) and they said that I needed 2 specific classes which I was NOT in, and could no longer GET into because I was Past the add/drop date ( need I say that if they would have been more effective in getting me an appointment when I called I would not be in this pickle) to graduate. So, this advising appointment I went to expecting to hash out graduation plans, turned into a crying fest with me balling in front of a stranger and realizing I would be wrestling with God for even LONGER, until MAY with my VCU dilemmas.

    Although, I have been frustrated beyond belief with VCU, I have learned a lot from this experience. Patience, being more bold, knowledge about different religions, that I have to do things MYSELF and not rely on other people, and the validity of my own faith to name a few. The most important lesson I have learned so far, is that God allows me to wrestle with Him to GROW. Growth has been a common theme in my SO FAR 4.5 years at VCU, and it will continue to be a theme until May. And I know that God will not allow me to tag team anyone else on this one... It's all on me, and I'm learning to be OKAY with that.

People just need love

     How many times have you been in a place where the homeless are scattered about pan handling or asking for food or drink? Countless I bet. 


And how many times have you reached in your wallet or purse and seen that there is only a $10 bill and given it to the person because your heart ached for what they were going through? OR how many times have you packed yourself a lunch and seen a homeless man or woman asking for food and given it to them because you know you can afford to go to chick-fil-a for the day and buy your lunch? Not many I bet. 


Why is that?? Why do we avoid the eyes of the needy when God tells us to love them and help them out in anyway we can??
    
         In ancient Israel hospitality was almost mandatory. If a person came to your door, you were to let them in, prepare them a meal and give them a place to sleep even if you did not know them. It was a dangerous world full of people who would rob you or kill you ( much like today...). Or what about the story of the good samaritan? In Luke 10:33-35 it states..."But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'"


       Check out that last part... LOOK AFTER HIM, AND WHEN I RETURN, I WILL REIMBURSE YOU FOR ANY EXTRA EXPENSE YOU MAY HAVE. What is that?? Who is that man?? He did not even know this man but he TOOK PITY, BANDAGED HIS WOUDS, GAVE UP HIS DONKEY FOR THE MAN,  AND PAID FOR A ROOM AT AN INN!! How many of us would do that??


     I have a special place in my heart for the homeless and whenever I give up some food, bring an extra coffee with me to school to give out, or write them a note telling them that I will be praying for them today,  these men and women show such great appreciation. And I know many of you may think "But if I give them money they will use it on drugs or beer" and you may be right, but have faith that God will use HIS money for HIS good. And if giving money is not your thing, then buy an extra egg mcmuffin and a coffee and give it to the man you pass everyday.


PEOPLE JUST NEED LOVE, how will you show it today??

Fist Blog EVER

       So, I have decided to start my own blog, I mean why not, I have nothing better to do in class right?? This thought all started while in my oh so famous, controversial, frustrating, and thought provoking religious studies classes. I keep on wondering why my professors teach such ludicrous theories and bias thoughts instead of the facts. And yet, it challenges me, so it is ok. So, just so it is known, these posts may be written DURING a class and my thoughts will be vented on this blog, so I hope you don't mind a rant or two.
       I have decided to name this blog "stuck IN BETWEEN" because I am a 22 year old female who is literally stuck between living my life as a student, and WANTING to live my life that is soon to come. I have a passion for the Lord that comes and goes in strength ( at least I'm honest ), a passion for the homeless ( which I am in between knowing what I can do to make a difference for them ), I love my family, and friends, And I happen to have that "fairytale- I love my best friend" thing with my boyfriend and best friend of 12 years Andrew. All of my friends have either moved away to pursue a "big person job" or  are engaged, married, or parents and too busy to hang out because of all the new and exciting changes in their life. So, at times I'm a little bitter, upset or anxious, But this is something that I am working on with the Lord, PATIENCE.
        Speaking of patience with the Lord, he is working double time on me because of VCU. My thoughts on this will be posted later. But let me tell you, life with this school has been a ROLLER COASTER, a love/hate ( but mostly hate) relationship with higher education.
         That is all for today, but I'll post again soon!!

( The picture Posted is where I want to be RIGHT now... )