In the making...

      Well, a lot has been going on this past week, nothing really noteworthy, but there is something from this week that has come about that I am beyond stoked about. It is the Hope Youth Group HOMELESS project that I have the great pleasure of heading up!!
      I will kick off the announcement about our project Next Monday in Hope for the Week, but I am too excited not to write about it now. We are headed off to Monroe Park on November 20th to feed and clothe the homeless of downtown Richmond. I have decided on Chicken Noodle soup, Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and coffee...I know not the BEST mix of foods, BUT I think we need to start off with a variety and see what works best. And plus since it is the first time doing this we need to see how people will react.        
      I am stoked on feeding the men and women of Richmond, but more stoked on clothing them for the winter. I am going to ask all of Hope to go through their old winter clothes and donate them to our project instead of directly to Goodwill. We will be handing out clothes and blankets to keep the men and women warm during the harsh winter so they have a better chance of survival. And with all of the left over clothes we may have, we will donate to a shelter or another amazing cause.
     Something else that gets me so pumped about this project is the Youth involvement. We have a few girls who are going to capture the day with their awesome photography skills and we are putting everyones strong points up to good use. And the fact that Hope will be marching out of the Suburbs to be a part of this project is even more exciting.
     I am hoping and praying that God will use this experience to open up our hearts and minds to GRACE. SOOO many people think that helping the homeless is hopeless because they will only use us or take our money and use it on drugs and alcohol,  and they may be right. But grace is about giving UNDESERVING love and compassion, and that is what I hope to accomplish with this project.
    So please help us to make this project the best it can be. If you want more information on how to help or be a part of this comment on this blog and I will get back to you!!!

Pockets of Grace.

    Have you ever had a really bad day and felt really awful about yourself and then someone comes up to you and compliments you.  Or you were really hungry and someone offered you half of their lunch without knowing.  Or someone offered you a piece of gum and didn't know your breath was stinky? Don't those little "pockets of grace" make the WORLD of a difference?

    I have read stories about teenagers who were going to commit suicide on a particular day because they felt worthless and felt like they did not amount to anything. But on that particular day, someone complimented them or asked them to hang out for the first time, and they choose NOT to take their own life. It was all about the pocket of grace, the particular person gave them that day that saved their life.

    I often think about teenage girls who end up pregnant our of wedlock. These girls are scared out of their minds. Wondering what their family and friends, CHURCH, and outsiders will think of them. SO scared to the point of contemplating abortion.  I really feel that if we were to extend grace and love to these girls ( and guys who are involved ) and realize that they made a mistake, but also, realize that YOU make equal too or worse mistakes, that these girls would keep the baby or put it up for adoption. It is all about giving grace and love to people in all kinds of situations.

    The cool thing about grace is that we do not deserve it, but it is given to us anyways. Take a relationship with the Lord for example. NONE of us deserve it, and yet we get it, time and time again. Its a selfLESS love which its worth cannot be measured.

    Remember how you feel when someone give you undeserving grace, and give someone that grace today. You never know what that person is going through.

( IF YOU ARE UNEMPLOYED AND NEED AN OUTFIT CLEAN FOR AN INTERVIEW WE WILL CLEAN IT FOR FREE)

i'm fine.

This is something to think about...

“The average person tells 4 lies a day, and 1460 a year. A total of 88,000 by the age of 6. And the most common lie is I’m fine.”

Why can't we all be honest with each other and realize that it is totally fine to not be fine??

( p.s. I just really loved this quote, I really AM fine hahah )

To go to class, or not to go to class? THAT is MY question.

     I am about to share with you one of the most common internal battles I have, where do my priorities lie when it comes to school.  First of all, I know that school is a necessary evil. It is something that I have to do, in order to succeed in my generation, but it does not mean that I have to like it, because I don't. I never have. So this creates a lot of turmoil within myself. Case in point this morning. It was raining, I woke up, felt tired, so I went back to sleep and skipped my first class. In my mind, me getting sleep and being well rested ranks higher than my social work class. Good or bad, that is just the way it is. And for 4.5 years that has been my struggle, to go, or not to go to class.

    I find myself in this little pickle quite frequently.  It tends to get worse as the weather gets warmer. The beach with friends is much more appealing than sitting in a class I could care less about. So I tend to lean towards the beach 9 out of 10 times. And when someone wants to catch up and can only do it during my 11 o'clock class, 10 out of 10 times ( unless I have a test ) I will go. I believe that enriching relationships is much more important and valuable than going to class to sit there confused and surf the internet. And that may seem like a cop out answer but it really is the truth. I can think of 100's of more important things I could be doing. 

    I just wanted to let you know that this really is an issue for me. It gets harder too when you throw in the fact that I have never excelled at school. I have never been able to test well, and I write how I talk, so papers are a struggle and reading "scholarly material" is like pulling my own teeth. But as the saying goes " 2.0 and GO" or "2.5 and stay alive"... so, I need to do a little soul searching and get on the ball.

   Here is the other kicker. I TRULY believe with my whole heart that college is a waste of time. My senior seminar professor even told us that it is pointless unless you want to get a masters in something specific, which I don't, so I struggle daily to get to class and do my work. And it kills me that I know that I have to get through this next year, and it killed me even MORE when I found out I can't graduate this December, because BELIEVE ME... I was already checking out, and now I have to check back in for a little while longer.

    All of this to say : If you are struggling in this area as well, Lets hold on together. Because when all of this is over, I am sure we will be happy that we suck with it. But remember it doesn't mean that you have to like it, we just gotta do it friend.

I hear you boys... 

Small group...

Just a peek into what went down tonight. We had more of a creative small group with painting, journaling, and "warm fuzzies"... Here are some pics!!

Sometimes we all just need a break from the norm to have a little more fun and use our imagination. And these girls sure did!! I love you all!!

CAUTION: confused woman straight ahead.

    How many times can you see the light at the end of the tunnel shining through, but cannot yet feel the warmth that the light will eventually generate?? If you are like me, you are STUCK IN BETWEEN seeing and feeling the light, a lot in life.

    I tend to by pass present day life, and want to have my life a year or 2 down the road. I want to graduate, get married, have a job, start a family, be on my own, have MY OWN ministry, and live a grown up "adult life", all while, not having stress, being secure, having fun and being 100% happy all of the time. Reality?? I Think not.

     I think a lot of the time, I am looking too far ahead of myself, and I am not taking the time to notice and enjoy the present.  We need to strive for the future and live in the present, and this is a current struggle of mine. There are so many things that I want to do, but because I am stuck in a transition period of life, I am stuck in limbo, waiting, learning lessons in patience and reliance, and it gets frustrating.

    How about you? Are you stuck in between the life you are currently living, and the one you keep looking ahead too??

So, how many times do I have to fall???

     SO, Lately I have been seeing just how much I try and rely on myself and not on God. It's like I am way to confident in myself in the areas of life where I need the most help ( what direction do I go in? To do or not to do? ) and yet so insecure and totally NOT confident in the easy areas of life ( being okay with WHO God made me to be, looks, intelligence...). I wonder why that is. Sometimes I wonder if I make my life harder on purpose. Do I just need adventure and a sense of the unknown so bad that I play the parts I should not play and abandon the ones I am the leading roll?

     I sometimes find myself in this thought process of " I don't need your help God, this is an easy decision", and then I FAIL. Why is it that in the 22 years of life that I have already been given, I have not learned to LEAN on God for EVERYTHING? I know I am stubborn, but THIS stubborn?? Man.

    In biblical times people would travel so far, risk everything, for the chance to see Jesus, to touch him and to have him HEAL them. This came in a time where Jesus wasn't exactly the coolest kid on the block, and yet they risked everything for a chance to RELY FULLY on HIM. And then there is ME, I live in a time where Jesus has ALREADY died for ME, all I have to do is give up everything to Him with the previous KNOWLEDGE that He can, and already has saved my life, and yet most of the time I don't. WHY?? Who knows.

    All I know is that I need to get myself in line here. I find myself going to God whenever I "need" Him, or scratch that, whenever I THINK I need Him. Truth is I need him 24/7, and even more than that, but I choose when I think I need him. When things get tough and a too hard to bare for myself, THAT is when I start a "convenient" relationship with God, that goes something like this: " God I am so sorry that I screwed up again, but I am only human ya know? Can you please forgive me and help me to change my life, Thanks!!". And then of course I screw up again. But then comes those moments where God has allowed me to fall flat on my face, to get terrified, and then I FALL TO MY KNEES and start realizing that I NEED Him. It just blows my mind, how I can let something get so far before it clicks.

    Why do we let things get to a point where we start to feel guilt, shame, or anger? God has given us the chance to live a life that is pleasing to Him. He has given us a whole book with answers and yet we chose not to read it. This is not just another school text book that I had to buy and chose not to read ( because truthfully if I do not read it and fail a class, its not the end of the world ) but if I keep choosing not to pick up the book that contains the WORDS OF GOD, putting it bluntly, I'm an Idiot.

Photobooth

I went through my photobooth program on my computer and these are the favorites I came across...enjoy!!!

Those being shown, I love you all!!!!!

High school girls, BOY TALK!!!

      Two days ago, at the high school girls small group that I lead, I had 3 awesome men come talk and answer all sorts of questions that the girls had about boys, sex, marriage, and relationships. And it was AWESOME!!! Andrew Parham (check him out at : http://viewpointsdefe.blogspot.com ), Cody Buchan, and Miller VanFossen ( my brother ) did such an amazing job giving real, honest and genuine responses in a very intimidating setting.


    The way we went about the questioning process was 100% anonymous. The girls would write out a question and fold it up and put it in a box I had brought and I read out the questions one by one and the guys just would jump in and respond. The questions went something like this : "When should I have my first kiss?", "What should I do if I am currently having sex and don't feel bad about it?", " If I have already had sex, will a Christian guy ever want me?", "What is your idea of beautiful?", " What is the most attractive and unattractive quality in a girl?", "How did you ask out your first girlfriend?"...etc. And the guys totally blew these girls out of the water with their honest responses. 


    Somethings I noticed while reading out questions and listening to responses were:


1- High school girls are so insecure.
        - This is something that I have always known, and personally experienced ( and still do at times ), but the magnitude of insecurity and stressors that come with the territory of being a high school girls is so large. 


2- How much girls depend on a guy for reassurance and "love"
        - No wonder girls are so insecure!! High school guys ( especially high school boys who run off of hormones ) tend to not have the goal of protecting a girls heart. The responses from Andrew, Miller and Cody on the topic of "Why are guys such jerks?", went along the lines of, guys tend to want to mess around and not care about girls emotions in high school because they are not trying to be serious. Not until in college do guys tend to want to take on responsibility of protecting a girls heart and emotional state. 


3- How blessed I really am.
       - I had 3 awesome guys who WANTED to talk to these girls and CARE so much about these girls hearts, minds, and spirits. One of those men is my brother. I have spent 22 years of my life with Miller, and he has protected me, loved me well, and will do anything in the world for me ( we can forget about all of those times he locked me in the pantry while babysitting me... I forgive you!! hah). Another man is my best friend/boyfriend, Andrew. I feel so blessed to have a man who protects me ( physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally), who loves me so well, does not judge me, and will do anything in the world for me. And Cody, a man who has such passion for middle and high schoolers and would do anything for any of them to see the love of Christ.


     That was the gist of what went on this past Tuesday. There was so much honesty, vulnerability and love in that room. Thank you guys for helping me out and loving these girls so well. 


     I ask that you keep in mind that high school girls ( and guys ) are dealing with so much pressures. They need love and support WITHOUT judgments. How can you love them better??

 Andrew Parham

 Miller VanFossen

 Cody Buchan

Taste, Smell, See, Feel, Hear

     The 5 senses. We always use them, yet rarely think about how blessed we really are to have them. Last night as I was lying in bed, I was thinking: "What if I went blind?", "What if I lost my hearing?", "What if I could not talk?"... You get where I am going. But it really struck me to the point of tears. I AM SO BLESSED. God has the power to take away any one of those if He wanted. Some people are born without one or many of those senses, and many people lose one or many as the years go on, and life happens.

    But REALLY....what if I lost one of my senses? What if I went blind and could no longer read? Or see the face of the man I love? Or see enough to do the daily things I take advantage of ( drive, write, call someone, text, get on facebook, read a letter or an e-mail...).

    What if I lost my hearing? I would not be able to HEAR and be comforted by the sound of crashing waves, my parents praise, Andrew tell me he loves me, or listen to music.

     I really started to think about how much I take advantage of. I go about my day talking away, navigating without too much of a stress ( all of you who know me, know that I am directionally challenged), I smell coffee brewing, and I HEAR the voices of the people that I love.

    Then the REAL question HIT ME. What if God took one of those senses away from me. Would I be okay with that? Would I be resentful? Would I be angry with God? And at that moment I was not so sure. I don't want to lose one of my senses that bring me SO much COMFORT. So, I began to talk to God and THANK Him for all that He has blessed me with. And I realized, at first I would be soo angry, but I would be okay, because even if I lost all of my senses, I would still have God by my side. I can be in the dark, but he is my light. NOTHING should stray me away from Him. NOTHING

This is the face of a boy hearing for the FIRST time. How beautiful!!!!

Jesus is the REAL DEAL baby!!!

     So, I have been thinking for the past 2 weeks about something. And since the time for me to start studying for a test (that I have tomorrow) has come I of course chose right now to blog about it. Anyways, my thoughts have been drifting to Jesus and how he Mingles and intertwines with several other faith traditions, not just Christianity.


    Let me give you some examples...


Islam- Jesus was considered to be a messenger of God who was sent to guide the people of Israel. He is mentioned in the Qur'an 24 times. He is the son of Mary through a virginal birth. He was able to perform miracles. And Muslims believe that he was not killed or crucified, but was raised ALIVE to Heaven.
*Hmmm... do we see some similarities there?? Just a change to the last line up there. 


Judaism- In the Jewish tradition Jesus was looked at as a false prophet. After his crucifixion his followers, who were fellow Jews, claimed that he WAS in fact the Messiah that was prophesied in Jewish text.
*Jesus was still in Jewish history, he still played a part, even it was a controversial roll to some.


Buddhism- There is no text that mentions Jesus in Buddhism. However, Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, regarded Jesus as a bodhisattva ( or an enlightened being ) who dedicated his life to the welfare of human beings. 
*That is a big deal if you think about it. A Dalai Lama is a Buddhist leader over religious officials. He is like the Pope for Tibetan Buddhism. So if he is thinking that Jesus was an enlightened being, well thats huge.


Hinduism-  Like Buddhism there is  no text that mentions Jesus, but Hindus do still believe that Jesus was a real man, who was a teacher.


All of this strikes hard with me because, if all of these religions recognize MY JESUS, that is telling me that He is the REAL DEAL!!! Where I differ from all of these other religions is that I do believe that Jesus Chris was the son of the ONE AND ONLY GOD. That he was sent here as an ordinary man. Who did perform miracles. Who was Crucified for me and all of  my sins. He was risen from the dead. Then ascended back to Heaven. And who will one day come back here and bring me to heaven. He did all of this for ME. He is my personal, loving, grace giving, amazing Jesus Christ.


One more thing. I sit next to this guy in my Islam class, who told me this " We Muslims believe in your Jesus, He was a prophet who got the message before Muhammad, We are jealous that God chose Yall first."


Just something to think about. Jesus is the Real Deal!!!

youth group...

      The point of me sitting at my computer at the moment is to write 2 papers, so what do I end up doing?? OF COURSE anything BUT writing papers. Procrastination is something I AM SOOO GOOD AT!! So while I am already behind on writing my papers, I would love to write about Hope's Youth Group and how much I LOVE everyone there.


     Nicole Unice and Pete Bowell ROCK. They are fun, energetic and inspiring. Tonight Pete gave an amazing talk on GRACE. We do NOTHING to earn it and yet we get it. God loves us that much. We are all screw ups, we are as far away from perfect as we can get, and yet God will never ever stop loving us. HOW AWESOME!!!


    Not only was Youth Group inspiring it was so much fun!!  Let me give you a sneak peak on what went down tonight.... 

Nicole and I doing head stands, and me falling backwards... hahaha

Me "break dancing"

Andrew flipping me... hahah

I love all of you Hopers!!!

P.s. HAPPY OCTOBER!!! Look for the changing colors of the leaves!!!