High school girls, BOY TALK!!!

      Two days ago, at the high school girls small group that I lead, I had 3 awesome men come talk and answer all sorts of questions that the girls had about boys, sex, marriage, and relationships. And it was AWESOME!!! Andrew Parham (check him out at : http://viewpointsdefe.blogspot.com ), Cody Buchan, and Miller VanFossen ( my brother ) did such an amazing job giving real, honest and genuine responses in a very intimidating setting.


    The way we went about the questioning process was 100% anonymous. The girls would write out a question and fold it up and put it in a box I had brought and I read out the questions one by one and the guys just would jump in and respond. The questions went something like this : "When should I have my first kiss?", "What should I do if I am currently having sex and don't feel bad about it?", " If I have already had sex, will a Christian guy ever want me?", "What is your idea of beautiful?", " What is the most attractive and unattractive quality in a girl?", "How did you ask out your first girlfriend?"...etc. And the guys totally blew these girls out of the water with their honest responses. 


    Somethings I noticed while reading out questions and listening to responses were:


1- High school girls are so insecure.
        - This is something that I have always known, and personally experienced ( and still do at times ), but the magnitude of insecurity and stressors that come with the territory of being a high school girls is so large. 


2- How much girls depend on a guy for reassurance and "love"
        - No wonder girls are so insecure!! High school guys ( especially high school boys who run off of hormones ) tend to not have the goal of protecting a girls heart. The responses from Andrew, Miller and Cody on the topic of "Why are guys such jerks?", went along the lines of, guys tend to want to mess around and not care about girls emotions in high school because they are not trying to be serious. Not until in college do guys tend to want to take on responsibility of protecting a girls heart and emotional state. 


3- How blessed I really am.
       - I had 3 awesome guys who WANTED to talk to these girls and CARE so much about these girls hearts, minds, and spirits. One of those men is my brother. I have spent 22 years of my life with Miller, and he has protected me, loved me well, and will do anything in the world for me ( we can forget about all of those times he locked me in the pantry while babysitting me... I forgive you!! hah). Another man is my best friend/boyfriend, Andrew. I feel so blessed to have a man who protects me ( physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally), who loves me so well, does not judge me, and will do anything in the world for me. And Cody, a man who has such passion for middle and high schoolers and would do anything for any of them to see the love of Christ.


     That was the gist of what went on this past Tuesday. There was so much honesty, vulnerability and love in that room. Thank you guys for helping me out and loving these girls so well. 


     I ask that you keep in mind that high school girls ( and guys ) are dealing with so much pressures. They need love and support WITHOUT judgments. How can you love them better??

 Andrew Parham

 Miller VanFossen

 Cody Buchan